Living a beautiful life is pretty easy when all is well, isn’t it? How about when things are not so well?
How about when the bottom falls out from under you? You’re strolling along whistling a happy tune when, suddenly — whomp!
The world drop-kicks you
Why? Why do bad things happen? Well, why not? There’s time for philosophical discussion later. We’ll also have to do some debriefing, analyses and game planning/changing. But first, and throughout, we need to pay attention to the fundamentals of making it through to the other side. Right now, you’re in trouble.
You’re in a free fall:
~Your house is in foreclosure
~You’re called to bail your loved one out of jail for–what?
~You’re standing in line at the food bank
~You wake up to hear someone telling you that you’ll never walk again
But you’re a good person!
Yeah. There’s that. While we’re waiting for karmic re-alignment an ominous voice chuckles, “Hiya baby, let’s play ball!”
When life-altering negative events clobber us, it’s understandable to feel frustrated, sad, resentful, bitter, angry and vengeful. But, is that where we want to stay?
Going over to the dark side
Should we trade our beautiful lives for those in darker dimensions? If we do, it should be a conscious decision. That’s another discussion. For this one….
In the bleak, dark, terrifying moments when things are at their worst; you’re exhausted, depleted, crushed and you hit a wall: You can’t do this anymore.
Remember that, yes, you can. You can and you will.
Find the eye of your storm
When you’re about to lose your grip and get torn away by raging winds, find the eye of your storm. Find your peaceful center. Breathe deeply. Know that you will be okay. Repeat.
Okay, I’m peaceful in the eye of the storm. Now how do I get out of here?
Hang on until daylight
When things are at their most bleak and your thoughts are their most grim, what do you do? You hang on. Hang on in the darkness until daylight breaks.
Focus on what beauty you can find; there is always a tiny shred of beauty somewhere. Sometimes you really have to search. Find it, focus on it and let it expand into your world. Let beauty balance out the bleak.
Keep going and don’t look down
Stay focused, keep going and keep doing what needs to be done. Don’t get sidetracked, don’t detour to the dark side, and don’t look down into the abyss. Hang on with everything you’ve got and you’ll discover new strength.
Discover your beautiful new chapter
You’ll discover that your beautiful life is still there with a new chapter waiting for you. All you have to do is find your way through.
If you’re going through hell, keep going. ~Winston Churchill
You got me thinking today! I think this is a good one to read and re-read. It reminds us that the bad parts of life balance the good ones. It also means to me, that we need to find the silver lining, sometimes make lemonade, even when we wish to have a milkshake! smiles!
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Hi Robin! Thanks so much. That’s a good point about balance in life. Finding a silver lining can make all the difference. I really like your observation that sometimes we need to “make lemonade, even when we wish to have a milkshake!”
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I love this 🙂 ❤
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Thanks, Trini! I’m so happy to know this 🙂
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🙂
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There’s one thing I feel fortunate enough never to have lost sight of. First realized after living through the deaths of three parents (two for real, one in spirit) within the five years after my fourteenth birthday.
Something I just mentioned to a mutual friend of ours in a comment on her recent post:
“Even the most wildly disconnected of us are entitled to those days, those times.
“Sometimes it really is the illness, the beast, the demon …
“and sometimes it’s just a head full of bad hair.
“It’s quite alright to put your (friggin’) hat on and let yourself slide.”
It’s all a matter of perspective.
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Hi Prodigal Orphan, I’m so sorry for your loss especially at such a young age. Thank you for sharing some of your story. You certainly gained some real wisdom and thank you for sharing that as well. You’re spot-on that it’s all a matter of perspective and the way you tell it is memorable! “It’s quite alright to put your (friggin’) hat on and let yourself slide.” 🙂
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You know, Danica, in ways I’m somewhat glad I had to walk through some of life’s toughest moments before I had to wade through some of its deepest bullshit.
Set up a whole bunch of my perspectives early enough that there would always be a chance of changing them.
Harris
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Hi Harris,
It sounds like you grew up quickly and that it’s served you well in many ways. Your insights made me think of this quote by Khalil Gibran, “Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.” I have the impression that this describes you!
Danica
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“… tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope.”
Romans 5:3 – 5
Wouldn’t expect to hear that from a kid who grew up Jewish over in Philip Roth Suburbia (Essex County, NJ) but that’s also a matter of changing perspectives I guess.
Harris
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I like it! Thank you, Harris 🙂
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You reminded me of a moment from long ago. During my mother’s battle with cancer, I asked this question to myself: What’s so special about her that she didn’t deserve cancer, but someone else did. …. and I couldn’t come up with a reason.
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I’m so sorry, Frank. Witnessing the suffering and agony of a loved one must be one of the worst experiences in the world. I believe that we all try to make sense of misfortunes, calamities and tragedies. One way to do that is to identify what we did wrong to bring about these events. Sometimes there is no answer; the explanation is that it’s inexplicable.
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Hey, very nice post, very poignant. I was told, at an early age, that when we’re down I should a)look for a lesson I could learn so I could prevent whatever I was going through happening again (or, at least, minimize the possibility) and b) understanding that pain and suffering was there to open our eyes to the good things we have in our lives/about ourselves. Without pain there is no pleasure, etc. Pretentious twaddle, maybe, but it’s served me well in some intense moments.
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Hi Ian, Thanks I’m very pleased that you like it. You had some wise people in your early life who gave you excellent advice. That’s a real fine way to start, isn’t it? (I know you’ll get that reference :).) Finding the lesson so we can avoid similar misfortune in the future can be challenging, but so valuable that it’s worth the effort. Without pain there is no pleasure is true. “Pretentious twaddle” made me laugh! You reminded me of some philosophy classes…and I loved them. The challenge is remembering and implementing these lessons in the midst of intense moments. Thanks again, Ian.
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And breathe.
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Yes, absolutely! Thank you.
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