The Weight of Deliciousness

I stop in at a culinary school to see what the students have for sale.  I like supporting them — the future wonder chefs of the city and beyond!

I linger at the bakery items.  Chocolate chip cookies!  Lots of chocolate chips and lovely golden edges.  The package is quite heavy given the number of cookies.  The weight of deliciousness!

A package of chopped veggies catches my eye.  They’d go nicely with some organic oil and balsamic vinegar.

But, cookies!

When did I last have cookies?  It’s been ages!  Well, that dinner party.  So, not ages exactly.  But long enough that they wouldn’t do much harm with a cup of tea.  What kind of tea would best enhance flavors?  I contemplate while adding the cookies to my bag of books.  Then, I realize I missed lunch.

Ouch!  The cookie is solid.  Not a normal crunchy solidness.  More of an old dense biscotti crunchiness but with a binding effect.  One bite takes a surprising amount of effort.  No matter; once they’re dunked in tea they’ll be lovely.

What is that taste??  No, it’s not even a taste.  It’s a sensation.  And not a good one.  My throat burns.  A roughly simmering type of burn.  What is that?  Sugar!  How much is required to produce this sensation?

I try a 2nd cookie.  Clearly that first one is an aberration.  I chew with determination until I realize I could actually break a tooth on one of these things.

How did this happen?  Surely they have quality control.  Someone observes, coaches, assesses and grades their work?

I try a 3rd cookie.  The first two are obviously accidents in the batch, probably due to inadequate mixing.  Ewww.  What is that now?  It’s odd.  Unpleasant.  Wholly out of place.  Salt!  This is too terrible to continue.

See, you should have stayed with that package of veggies!

Returns aren’t an option.  I could express my concern at the lack of quality control, but a complaint may lead back to an individual student or group of students.  Judging from the state of these cookies the student(s) in question have enough problems.

What to do with these things?  Waste is a pet peeve of mine, especially food.

I’d normally give extra food to people on the street.  However, giving these particular cookies would be unkind.  They look like wonderful chocolate chip cookies, but the only way they’d be edible is with industrial-strength hot coffee.

Feeding them to the birds would probably be lethal.  Except crows and seagulls; they’d likely be fine.

I leave them on a bench.  Expectations are automatically lowered for things abandoned on benches.

Next week I’ll check out the biscuits.  Anyone can make good old-fashioned biscuits, yes?


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