The Best Laid Plans of Rodents and Writers

An unexpected free day!  Lovely!

What to do?  The art gallery exhibit?  A movie?  Book store?  Hit the open road, destination unknown?

Let’s start the day with breakfast out.  I set up my laptop at a place with good wifi and a varied breakfast menu.  Decisions, decisions….

“The fire alarms will go off in about 30 minutes.”  The server tells me as I place my order.  “It’s just testing.”

Not as peaceful an environment as I’d hoped, but, okay.

Click, clack, click, click.  I like the keyboard better than a touch screen.  What kinds of grains are in this multi-grain toast?  Click, click, clack.  Does the paper over on that table have the crossword?  Click, clack, click.  You know what would have been nice?  Honey with the peanut butter.  Click, click, click.  When’s the last time I had honey?  I should pick up some today.

CLAAANNNNGGGG!!!!  Strobe lights flash overhead!  Red lights whirl by the door!  I cover my ears.  It will probably stop soon.

Maybe now.



Next time I won’t stay at a place that’s testing the fire alarm.

Where was I?  Oh, yes.  Click, click, clack.

“That’s over with!”  A guy hollers as he emerges from the back.  “We found key places where the mice are hanging out!”  His voice carries through the whole room.

A cook goes over to him and says something.

“Yeah, but we found them!”  He continues.  “I’m excited we’ve found the paths they’re taking!”

An exterminator who really loves his job?

“They’re all over the pantry and those shelves!”

I look at the remnants of my toast.

“The door sweeps are fully chewed through!  They’re also running around the floor!”


“…there’s a path to the fridge!  They’re at the top of the fridge, back of the fridge, under the fridge — !”

What are the odds that the tomato and greens I just had weren’t rolling around in that mouse-infested fridge?

“I’m very excited we found them!”

Sounds like they’re pretty hard to miss.  Did I mention this is a modern building adjacent to office space?

“I posted the next schedule!  You two are on the same shifts!”

The loud guy is the supervisor?  Manager?  You’re kidding.

I look over.  You guys realize I’m a customer, right?  Am I in a hidden-camera comedy sketch?  Funny, if I’m not poisoned.

So much for my plan to spend a couple of hours relaxing and writing.  The best laid plans of rodents and writers.

“Hey ho!  Let’s go!”


“Blitzkrieg Bop,” by Ramones.  Written by Dee Dee Ramone and Tommy Ramone.

Video posted to youtube by user Reinhard62.

Purchase song or album here.

Special thanks:

“The best laid schemes o’ Mice an’ Men, / Gang aft agley,” (38-39).
Burns, Robert. “To a Mouse On Turning up in Her Nest with the Plough.” 1785.

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55 thoughts on “The Best Laid Plans of Rodents and Writers

          1. Looks can be deceiving. Last summer while my wife and I were in Newcastle with two of our granddaughters, we were looking for a place to eat. We past a place that from the outside looked like a total grease pit. But we were so hungry, we went in and found that the food was very good! Nice surprise we thought.

            Liked by 1 person

  1. Not a bad time to ask for a refund, honestly. Least they could do after admitting there’s a rodent problem and health code violations in ear-shot of a paying customer.

    And all those distractions… it’s like living with kids! Time to think? Hahaha…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. kevin

    “Sounds like they’re pretty hard to miss.” That made me laugh out loud. You have a good sense of humor, Danica. I knew there was something I liked about you. I love this post.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I think you know Marissa Bergen and how involved she and her sister were with hard rock n roll. They had their own band . . . Maybe, I think you (?) commented on her poetry and her family’s music.
    Anyway, she’s very familiar with the Ramones! It is always cool to connect to those who really know the musicians we love! Take it easy, Danica! 🎶 🎸

    Liked by 1 person

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