Are You Forgettin’ Why You Loved Me, Darlin’?

She drapes a towel over her shoulder hiding her left breast.  Rather, the vivid red scars snaking her ribcage where her left breast was carved out.

She turns to her left, enough so that she looks whole.  If she accidentally catches a glimpse of her reflection, that is.

Spraying the area with rubbing alcohol from the pump bottle — she still can’t bring herself to touch it — she switches the blow dryer to ‘low’ and dries under the towel.  Then she spritzes Vitamin E and baby oil, even though it’s a lost cause.  Those scars aren’t going anywhere.

She ties a robe loosely around her waist and shuffles to the kitchen.  Hot cereal she enjoyed from childhood might help her feel a bit better.

A shadow crosses the window making her jump.  But her imagination was playing tricks.  Nobody had been in the garden since the day Nick left — coincidentally, the morning after she discovered the lump in her breast.

“Hey, gorgeous.”

She whirls around, gripped by fear.

“You really should lock your door.”

“What –!”  Her heartbeat thudding in her ears.

“I heard from Stef.  Here to help.”  Billy leans in the doorway.

She stares.  She always locked that door.  She’d barricade the damn thing if she could.

“I’ll start by fixing your lock.”  He winks.

“Breakfast?”  She asks, finding her voice.

“Love some, darlin’.”  He rummages around until he finds her toolbox.

She surveys the fridge.  She really needed to grocery shop.  “Looks like you’re getting last night’s egg rolls and sweet and sour chicken.”  She used to avoid MSG and additives like the plague, but it doesn’t matter anymore.

“My favorite.”  He calls over his shoulder as she turns on a burner and takes a frying pan from the dish tray.

She sets up the percolator for his coffee.  More like sludge, she thinks.  The more bitter the better as far as he’s concerned.

I’m only hoping that you’re home
So I can hear you

He comes up behind her and laces his fingers through hers.  “Lock’s fixed.”


He guides her away from the stove and rests his other hand on her hip.

When you say those words to me
And whisper so softly…

He reaches over and turns up the stereo.

CC pick up that guitar
And talk to me…

She pulls away but he holds her hand tighter.

“You’re so inappropriate.”  She tries to feel annoyed.

“Oh darlin’.”  He searches her eyes.  “Are you forgettin’ why you loved me?”

Behind them bushes
Till I’m screaming for more more more

He pulls her to him and she leans against his chest — forgetting for a moment — then jumps back as though she were burned.

He holds her steady.

“I can’t.”  Her voice a hoarse whisper.

He strokes her newly-fine hair.  “You always looked better with short hair.”

“Nobody will want me now.”  She chokes on her sobs.

His laugh booms from his belly.  “Oh, you’re so wrong.”

Down in the basement
Lock the cellar door

“You’re still you — more you than ever.  Stronger.”  He kisses her face.  “I’m so proud of you.  Just wish I’d known sooner.”

His forearm brushes the towel still over her shoulder.  Then his warm palm hovers ever-so-closely in front of her scars.

She catches her breath.

Slowly, he traces the knife’s tracks.

She freezes, rigid.

He follows the thick, uneven, ridged scar tissue.  Along the thin, raw skin in between. Over the bumps of each rib.  She turns away and he keeps her close.

And baby
Talk dirty to me

He sings, leading her in a slow twirl.

And baby
Talk dirty to me

A small, strained, raspy laugh escapes her pale lips.

“Tell Santa what you want for Christmas, darlin’.”

I said I like it, baby



Lyrics in italics from, “Talk Dirty to Me”.
Written by:  ‎Bret Michaels‎; ‎Bobby Dall‎; ‎C.C. DeVille; and, Rikki Rockett.
Original release:  Look What the Cat Dragged In.
By:  Poison.

Purchase song or album here or here.


Copyright Disclaimer:
Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, allowance is made for “fair use” for purposes such as comment, criticism, scholarship, teaching, research and news reporting.  Fair use is a use permitted.
“Fair Use” guidelines:

39 thoughts on “Are You Forgettin’ Why You Loved Me, Darlin’?

  1. WOW!!!!!! Danica, what a moving story on so many level. Thanks for sharing, a story of love and understanding. I’m thinking of you, recovering from a total knee replacement is hell on a 54 year old body.
    Happy holidays, sending you wishes of joy, health, happiness and a heart of joy.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you, M! That means a lot to me. Wow, you’re a warrior. I’m so glad surgery went well and that you’re recovering. Be good to yourself.
      Happy holidays to you as well, my friend. I wish you a beautiful holiday season and all the very best for the new year!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Pingback: Are You Forgettin’ Why You Loved Me, Darlin’? – Br Andrew's Muses

  3. Surgery is especially difficult for women as the fear the scars on their body Will somehow diminish them in the eyes of others. Absolutely and completely not true. My wife has had surgeries for cancer including one recently and I love that scar because it part of her. Strange I have scars from multiple kidney transplants and I never worriedly she would think less of me.

    Thank you for following my blog. I hope that you will look around and provide comments to the posts that you like. I have some categories there that might interest you including the Skywalker steers and my favourite posts.

    Please don’t hesitate provide feedback as I won’t consider it as criticism

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for reading and sharing your experiences. I’m glad that you and your wife both recovered well from surgeries.

      I’ve enjoyed what I’ve read so far and look forward to reading more of your blog. I have a couple (exciting!) upcoming projects that filled my blogging schedule for the near future, so more visits to your site may be a bit delayed.

      Thanks again and I hope you’re enjoying the day!


  4. This had such a serious bent to it, Danica. I hope no one close to you has recently had breast cancer. My Grandma had both removed in her mastectomy. She wasn’t all there in her mind after that, living in a nursing home. My Grandpa visited her daily and fed her sweetly, talking softly like as if a baby bird.
    Just saw your life and cannot believe how long it had been since I read your powerful posts. Excellent writing! hugs xo Robin

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, Robin. This isn’t based on a true story. I try to challenge myself by writing scenarios I haven’t experienced.
      I’m sorry for the health issues your Grandma faced and I’m glad your Grandpa was there for her. I’m sure his love and support helped her a great deal.
      Thanks so much for the wonderful compliment! It means a lot to me, Robin. 🙂


What do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s